


Sounds of Silence

by Severous_Quinn



Series: Light of the Mourning Sun [1]
Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boruto Whump, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Crying, Dehydration, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heart-to-Heart, Implied/Reference Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Isolation, Kawaki & Boruto-centered, Late Night Conversations, Letters, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Sad Boruto, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Step-siblings, Tags May Change, Vomiting, Worried Kawaki, depressed boruto, worried naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28216356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severous_Quinn/pseuds/Severous_Quinn
Summary: Personal interpretation and manga spoilers from chapters 53 and beyond.Waking up was always the best thing to remember that you’re alive and breathing. At least for some. However, the son of the seventh, wished he never opened his eyes forever.
Relationships: Kawaki & Uzumaki Boruto, Kawaki & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Boruto (mentioned), Uzumaki Boruto & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Light of the Mourning Sun [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066997
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	1. [Cover Art]

**Author's Note:**

> After reading the latest chapter of the manga I knew well that I needed to write something based on the possible scenario that would happen to the manga. Somehow that idea ended up being a series. A dedicated one solely for a nonexistent, reimagined timeline that would be highly unlikely to happen in the Boruto manga. Which are full of angst feelings and comfort.
> 
> I have no idea if all the characters I'm writing are slightly OOC but I'd love to have some critic and review of this fanfic. Thank you again for reading! Comments are very much appreciated! Detailed comments earn my detailed response as well. I'm very grateful to want to hear your thoughts!
> 
> ____________
> 
> It has been a week since the incident with Isshiki. There's this odd atmosphere surrounding the house ever since then. For Kawaki and Naruto, hopefully, it'll settle things even just a little bit. Boruto was still the main course of thought for the two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The official cover art for Sounds of Silence. Illustration and concept created by me.

> * * *

**Waking up was always the best thing to remember that you’re alive and breathing. At least for some. However, the son of the seventh, wished he never opened his eyes forever.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on:  
> Twitter: _jxdith  
> Tumblr: j-dith  
> Instagram: jxd.ith


	2. Deciphering the Silence

“Boruto hasn’t been out of his room for six days ….” mumbled the raven boy to the Seventh, sitting on a chair in the living room with nobody but Naruto on the other side of the table. Most of the lights were off, and the only source of luminosity was from the front entrance, illuminating the hallway that bounces throughout the entire area.  
  


The silence was heavy, a needle drop from a mile can be heard. The two individuals were sitting still, staring at nothing.

In the outside viewer, it could be suffocating to be in silence for a long amount of time in the quiet darkness.

Regardless of the abnormality, it didn’t really bother both Kawaki and Naruto. It somehow almost grew as a coping mechanism, almost. Yet, it’s borderline unhealthy.

The only good thing was that Naruto took a break from being outside for a few days.

When he got home, he didn’t bother to say anything. Not like it was new to Kawaki, he already expected it.

They’ve done most of everything, everything to keep things at bay. To keep everything alright.

And that’s what matters right?

Even with the silence—despite not knowing any better, maybe it’s for the best. Grieving—was the only option left to take care of, but even that, it’s never easy to go through it.

An average person can list down various options to cope with an exception of the commonly known unhealthy choices. Silence is one of the uncommon ones, succumbing to it is a different story.

  
Once again, it's like every single day they live in this place—there will always be something brand new.

Like a newborn child. The difference is that when a child is born, it is a sign of life and happiness.

It’s similar to this household’s experiences, except before— those _life and happiness_ surrounding it used to be warm, full and welcoming.

The event right now is the one that’s fresh and new.

One that is depressing and empty—one that's been lasting more than they thought it would.

The place lacked light and warmth, they never know where it came from, but they know very well they miss it.

Was there always a reason why the atmosphere of this household was so warm and happy?

The father of the family went into deep thought.

Naruto, from the moment he had Boruto with Hinata, changed everything for him. He felt as if his world shifted. Having his own family was his other dream, one that can never be replaced and taken off the list of his goals. But experiencing it was more than words to describe.

And when Himawari was next to be born, he was still blown away by how he felt about having both a son and a daughter, a family of his own.

For a moment, his mind wanders. His daughter’s name, Himawari, her name means something right? _Sunflowers,_ yeah. But those sunflowers always face towards something that lights them up, according to what he read somewhere.

Sunflowers always face something that they thought is the sun.

It’s funny to think that—there are a sun and moon dynamic that conceptualizes and connect Naruto himself to the people he’s very close with. But since it’s his family that was being aforementioned here, could Naruto be the sun in his family?

It’s possible but, the more he grows the more the older blonde became serious and mature. Though his warm, energetic, and loving nature is still there. It’s just that he’s old enough to not have that kind of attitude when he was young anymore.

Hinata has always been a quiet, loving, and understanding person, who’s always there for him and making sure he was supported unconditionally. A moon type, he thinks, one that depends on the light of the sun to illuminate in the dark. But the sun is different, he’s a person like that but it’s more on the calm wave now than it used to be.

And then the moment when Kawaki came into the picture, both he and the sixteen-year-old kid were completely different from each other in terms of personality, and yet their past is what connects them both.

Kawaki had it worse than him, but if it would be Naruto’s job to give him the warmth and safety that the raven lacked when he was young, he'd gladly give him that source of safety.

No one deserves to go through something as he had, his responsibility as a Hokage was to make sure that his people are safe and happy, that being said he’ll be glad to take Kawaki in too.

Yet, it’s obvious that the kid’s personality was always been quite cautious and observant, but the more he opens himself up, it’s obvious how much Kawaki deeply cares for the people he’s close with, mostly his son.

Besides, a moon depends on the light of the sun, it’s Naruto’s job to make sure Kawaki feels safe, depending on if he wants to or not.

Speaking of Boruto, his firstborn is a different story.

To think that when he first saw his son when he was born gave him brand new feelings of happiness and joy.

And when they made up after he was rescued. When they both understood each other and did what they can to adjust. His energy and determined attitude. It just makes him think how much Boruto resembles so much of him when he was young.

  
It’s not like everyone in his family doesn’t give him happiness, they all do. They always will in the depths of his heart. However, his son is more on the bewildering side of things.

At times Naruto would admit that— in his current age and matureness—it’s quite difficult to keep up the same energy he had when he was in his youth.

He grew up, both from age and mentality, that’s what it is. There are a lot of responsibilities that he makes sure to take it seriously, every morning and every evening he’s always tired after those. His energy is always depleted for sure.

Boruto though, it’s like he’s never tired, yet it feels like he’ll never be. Like a sun who's bright and warm energy reflects on the people around them. Around their family.

The light of the morning sun was a sign of waking up every morning, meaning that there’s life ahead of you, a new goal, a brand-new day to look forward to. Those rays of light are what gave him hope every day.

But then ...

Why?

Was there a reason for the sun giving that kind of feeling?

Does the sun always have to be the one who gives people happiness and warmth?

Those signs of life and hope?

If it does, then how come it’s …

Not working anymore?

These past few days, waking up in the morning, sleeping, and eating with the lack of a number in the family was so much different unlike before.

It didn’t feel the same anymore.

It feels like the warmth and joy that was suppose to be in this household just, vanished.

The presence of that feeling he craved was admittingly, completely absent.

Despite the morning sun every morning—the light that was supposed to guide everyone from the darkness— it didn't feel the same.

It felt like, there's something missing.

It felt almost painful.

It made them mourn.

That light from his son— despite his best efforts to get over it, to cope, to get out of that excruciating mental suffering— has his light slowly fading.

His other sun, _his son—_ who used to be so full of energy and happiness, that sign of hope—was suffering the same fate and feeling Naruto had.

In Naruto’s utmost core, his worst fear was putting his family in the same place and experience what he went through. It was the last thing he wanted to happen.

It hurt him—so much. To see Boruto like that, to see how devastated he was hearing the news, his unstableness, emotionally driven but still intelligible choices for the good of the world breaks him.

Even with Naruto's best efforts, he’d never think that he’d end up being in this terrible situation at all.

To see that worst fear—became a horrible reality.

A sun, when it’s on its last breath, close to its limit, close to its death— _explodes_.

It’s close to unexpected, that everything that happened before this week was going to end up like this. Reality never hits this hard before.

Astounded. In a more negative way. The only word to describe what happened— what everyone must've felt. When it all happened too fast. 

In Naruto’s case, he didn’t want to think about it. To think about what happened the week before. But the reason why he is at home right now is that he was forced to for once.

The only benefit of it was that he’ll get some proper rest. This home was always happy and welcoming to come back from work. His children coming to greet him, then hearing the _welcome home_ greet was the best thing to hear knowing he’s home.

Then again, right now things are different.

It’s quite selfish to think that the reason why he doesn’t want to go home anymore was because of what happened to Boruto.

It’s not like he hates him, no not at all. He knows very well how that parasitic bastard Momoshiki was still in his son's body, only the gist of what Amado says so far. But a full-on body possession on his son? Absolutely had no idea that it was also part of the process. Amado never once mentioned it, he was only told that it takes place in the body, but possessing someone’s body was not mentioned at all.

At least that’s what he thought.

Right now, engaging with Boruto wasn't the best choice of action regarding his physical, mental, emotional state and— mainly about what happened last week.

But what got Naruto's attention the most and what made it extremely concerning is that Boruto hasn't been out of his room for a solid six days.

He was in house arrest for a month, sure, but this isn't what was supposed to happen.

Naruto knows well when to leave him alone in a time like this. However, isn't it also his responsibility to check up on his son sometimes? Naruto is a father— _Boruto's_ father— his responsibility to reach out to him should be there. Then again, do those options even work?

He and Kawaki tried their best to at least give him something. Yet no matter how much they tried to help Boruto out, to at least let him open the door, to talk to them, to at least know that he's still _alive_ — the response remains empty.

The door, for the tenth time, was never opened. It didn’t make a rattling noise no matter how much they try to.

It was ridiculous how sturdy the door was. Like it was made of steel. It didn’t make a noise, not even a small portion of it.

A door never made itself like that. Right?

  
But then it hit them. It’s like a reminder that no matter how much one hopes to—it’s not preventable that there will be hopelessness in situations like these.

It’s almost like a painful reminder that one of their deepest fears was not solving this problem soon. They gave up a few times before, but they never stop to at least try.

No matter how much they fail to do so, that small portion of hope is still there. Naruto knows— understands, how much of a burden experiencing grief is, but this type of grief is different.

The man isn’t stupid, invading someone's grief is a form of disrespect but to go so far like this, he doesn't understand it.

He wonders, how heavy was this pain he's feeling?

How worse can a situation to happen for someone to do something like this? And with his own son? He couldn't imagine it.

Because if he did invade his privacy—opening his door— what happens next? The older Uzumaki was definitely sure that his son would get angry— _pissed_ —that he wasn’t given some personal space, a time for him to at least _grieve_.

A lot of unwanted scenarios are likely to happen if this was acted upon, so maybe it's best to leave him alone for now. However, he is aware that the limit of this situation is close to extreme, but to the best of his abilities—he'll trust his son.

He'll give him the benefit of the doubt. In the end, it's Boruto's choice to act. Naruto's only there to support him, but he's not always going to be there forever.

When Kawaki mumbled that sentence a few moments ago, it was like a signal for Naruto to come back to reality. The raven’s grey eyes were on him as he stood up from the chair. Although the man pondered.

He hasn’t mentioned this to the kid before him but, both he and Boruto were getting more attached to each other than how Kawaki was used to towards Naruto.

Ever since that vase Himawari made— the one Kawaki broke before and repaired after— both he and his son became much closer. It’s funny to say the least, that the raven and the younger blond used to be hostile to one another. But he knows that time can change that at some point.

And he was right for thinking about that.

Naruto was close with Boruto, he was his father after all. But since he is a busy man and a man who needs to look out for the village, there’s little time for him to talk to the younger blond. He wishes there’s more time, however, those chances are always being taken away from him every now and then.

Looking at Boruto and Kawaki right now, it doesn’t take at least five seconds to notice how much these two are absolutely glued together.

It was nice. How even though they mutually agreed to be rivals, their closeness, acknowledgment, dedication, and trust are still visible to notice.

Trusting Kawaki to handle Boruto would be fine, right? After all, Naruto trusts him. It could be the right opportunity to have some rest for once.

Then it’s decided.

“Kawaki, can you promise me to take care of Boruto for me?”

Uttered the older Uzumaki as his feet moved towards the door. Kawaki’s dimmed, clayish, grey eyes stared at him for a moment. He knows. He knows that those sharp, grey eyes predicted Naruto’s words like he had been expecting it ever since.

It’s not news to hear that the raven was observant and attentive. But Kawaki knows how to perceive a situation. And deciphering what Naruto said right now, it made sense at least.

The state of the older man right now was understandable, he was tired and extremely exhausted. He was well aware that the atmosphere in this household had changed in a dramatic state ever since Naruto changed his routes. But with respect, Kawaki understood he couldn’t stop him from that.

That’s the business of what a Hokage does.

What only bothered him was that the past few days, Naruto never bothered to go home anymore. It was only for today he was allowed to go back home just because he was forced to. He won’t complain since it’s affecting no one for now. Hinata and Himawari were ordered to go to the Hyuuga’s compound for— _other reasons._

To Kawaki’s utmost knowledge, he doesn’t know if Boruto’s mother and sister know what’s happening to their eldest son. It’ll be a devastating course of uncovering the truth; this is their son and brother after all.

And on the other hand, Boruto had his own thing to focus on about. Kawaki, in his point of view, doesn’t mind personally. However, he knows so well that Naruto— who’s obliviously overworking himself—can cost him his energy to drain. Unbeknownst to Naruto, overworking yourself so much can also be self-destructive.

It annoyed Kawaki to an extent, that Naruto’s worriedness and concern for Boruto— who’s in no doubt, also in a borderline destructive phase, who hasn’t been eating, drinking, _responding_ to both of them for days— would be a hypocrite, to just end up betraying his needs and priorities as a full functioning human being for the sake of someone else.

He wanted to be mad, downright furious, and cussing out in the depths of his head. But at the same time, what rights does he have to get mad at them when he used to be in that same exact position as before?

The raven can’t help it. To think that he had only just realized how much it hurts to witness those people he cares about ended up experiencing the same thing he used to go through. Experiencing insufferable physical and mental pain.

Kawaki’s no different. Yet if it's for the good of these people, then so be it.

It’s stupid, that forgetting yourself for the sake of others as a way to help—completely forgets the foundation of being strong first and _then_ helping others.

It’s sacrificial and selfless. Every bit of the Uzumaki family has that trait, even Boruto. Excluding Himawari— _yet_.

This family had put their life on the line for others, Kawaki admittingly had done the same for Naruto. But to think that it’s ridiculous how the majority of the population of this planet thinks that putting everyone else’s needs— _life_ — before yours was highly praised and romanticized— _disturbs_ him— then at the same time, it resonates within his heart, and he knows why.

Ever since he was taken custody from Naruto _because_ of Boruto, it was like a light of hope, but before he doesn’t know that yet. He’s oblivious to it at first.

Way before, not at least once he had thought that someone will understand his pain, nor he does care at all. He had given up that concept and ideology way before. The life he had grown to before now was like living in hell.

His biological father was abusive, neglected him, and called him empty for a number of times in the age of seven, not until Jigen came. The man, who took him away from the old household he's been in, has once thought was evil was actually possessed by that horrid alien creature Isshiki who used him in the worst way possible.

Remembering everything made his heart numb, those old memories used to repeat in his head nonstop. Nonstop to the point if he remembers, he felt—empty.

Not even the constant physical pain he had can live up to it.

As long as he can feel something greater than the lower. That emptiness can fade for all he cares.

Although, the abuse he went through with Jigen— _Isshiki_ , was nothing new. His image just reminded him of his father, but much worse. And those abusive experiences he went through his entire life until the age of sixteen, had created a deep void in his heart. The only thing that filled that void before was pure resentment, contempt, anger, and even depression.

He wanted to give up living life before that. But ever since— _ever since—_ he finally escaped that place—that place full of distrusting and menacing people— in the depths of his mind, had pondered that there could be hope for him.

But his persistence didn’t allow him to have a change of thought. Getting out alive and surviving was a start. Escape was the only thing he prioritizes first at that time because as much as he wanted to contemplate his life again being captured alive is the last thing he wanted to happen.

However, the sight of Boruto at that time didn’t really phase him at all. Nor did he care about it. But after that fight with Garou, and being acquainted with the older Uzumaki changed his plans for good.

During that time, he had concluded for a long time that he wouldn’t be able to live like a normal person and that his life was only destined to be erased from existence. Then again, for the first time, he was proved wrong.

Meeting Naruto changed his life, probably the first person he ever resonated with. To think that he was so sure no one will understand him contradicted itself. Like finding a diamond in the rough, he found someone rare.

Although he remained persistent and sharp. He couldn’t trust anyone at all, not even the Hokage despite promising him about it. Even though he was given kind words, the possibility of it being true is fifty-fifty.

For Kawaki, it’s a none at all.

The raven does not trust anyone. All he could think was to escape, the change of his mentality from the innocence he had at the tender age of six to a more aggressive and hostile person is visible within his heart.

Regardless of that, he thought he’ll never change. Just when he realized he completely underestimated himself so much.

Naruto’s warmth and care as a person made Kawaki realized that he was living a terrible life in a terrible environment. And one that he wishes to have realized that way before. One that he wished he grew up in a healthy one.

It's true. Yet again, wishing for something that happened in the past doesn't change things. He’s smart enough to know that mopping around and romanticizing the past won’t change anything, but he wished it did happen. If only he was given a wish to change something, he could have that.

Maybe he wouldn’t feel pain anymore.

Then here comes Boruto.

Blond hair and blue eyes are what make up his physical image the most. Yet his sarcastic, bright, and energetic attitude was infecting. But the other side of him—that no one barely knew— was what stuck out to Kawaki the most.

The first time he met him was that fight with Garou. It was chaotic and complicated. Boruto had told him that the mission they were going to do ended up from being a C-rank to an S-rank mission. A few people died at that time.

And meeting after that made them think getting along was only an unreachable dream.

Yet he was proven wrong again.

Both of them have been as close as ever.

It’s funny that in the beginning, they both started off bad. So bad that their hands are itching to grab each other’s necks.

Guess saving Himawari with the sacrifice of his right arm that time traded him with something better.

Right now, Kawaki can never be more grateful to say that his wish came true. He learned, realized, fixed a few things in his life afterward.

And when he’s about to learn to care for himself, just _when_ he’s about to change his life, to recover, relive, restart everything for the better— _This. This_ just _had_ to happen.

Just when he thought his self-destructive habits were much worst.

The one’s he’s seeing through, experiencing, perceiving right now—was the limit for him.

Giving and giving of oneself until you’re no more is undeniable harmful. Kawaki— who had tried to recover from his abuse and feelings of emptiness and self-hatred— only realizes that he can’t do anything to protect someone he cares for without taking care of himself. That deformed of self-hatred and old self-destructive habits were a burden to him, he once thought he had nothing to live for.

Right now, for once in his life, he felt helpless. The work of emotional instability can manipulate someone’s mindset greatly, and it definitely unbalances their rationality when it comes to communicating with others.

Six days before Boruto’s self-destructive self-isolation he was interrogated by two people, Shikamaru and Ino. The interrogation was normal at first, at the same time the younger blonde’s dialogue was slowly becoming erratic and emotionally driven—  
  


He internally winced.

  
Immediately, Kawaki stopped that train of thought.

He can think of _anything_ at all. But that particular _scene_ — an absolute _horrid scene_ that he’s not used to _seeing_ — is out of the list of things he wanted to think about for now.

The main point is that he can go through the pain no matter the case. But seeing others, who meant to him so much go through it instead, is the only pain he doesn’t want to experience.

To think that Boruto’s situation would end up so _closely_ related to Naruto’s situation when he was a child was shocking. And for Naruto, it was energy depriving to see him continuously fret himself to his biological son when his situation is no different than the younger blond.

But when he started asking him this favor, he knows that it’s at least a step forward to self-care for once, a benefit for the better. Naruto much deserves to rest after all the things that happened.

After Kawaki comprehends his words, it was settled. He’ll take the stirring wheel for once if it meant for this to work.

“Alright.” Responded Kawaki with a nod. Naruto, for the first time in a week, smiled. It was a tired smile but still a genuine one. Despite what happened he can still manage to do it.

He wandered about it.

It was all over that smile; all it means that he’s counting on him for it and nothing more. The next thing Kawaki knew the moment he looks up at the door again, the Seventh was already upstairs.

He was alone again.

Kawaki checked the clock on his front. It was somewhere 8:22 PM. Still early, right?

There’s nothing much he can do today since everything’s still out of commission.

His mind wanders back to his brother. His non-biological, blond, thirteen-year-old, younger brother.

As if he had this in mind for a while now, would it be alright to check on Boruto again?

The thought of attempting to get him out of his room was irritating him. But not like he can help it. In his defense, the irritation was automatic.

He doesn’t know if it’s even possible.

But trying is better than nothing.

After all, his position of being the _older adopted brother_ will be put into question.

Kawaki didn’t care much about the idea, but some part of him tells him otherwise.

A few moments later, Kawaki stood outside Boruto’s room door.

Yet something stopped him.

There was an odd scent emitting under the gaps of his room. He wasn’t sure if it was normal that something like this is happening but, in all other cases he did experience this a few times when they used to hang out a lot in his room. Still, he could be imagining. The raven should’ve been used to this already.

His grey eyes eyeing the handle, only noticing just now how the gold doorknob was slightly matted with dust and debris. To think that this sight made him feel sad somehow. Those days felt like months.  
  
He wished Hinata was here right now to help him open the door.

The right hand slowly reached for the knob. The fear of it making silence than noise was giving him a hard time.

  
  
When he turned it, it’s still locked.

Kawaki scoffed.

Seemed like it’s the eleventh time he failed, again.

If this reached a twelfth time tomorrow or next week, he’s not hesitating to break that thing open.

But now, he’s running out of options to think things through.

Before, calling his name, knocking on the door, and even opening his window was impossible. It’s like everything was locked from front to back.

The windows though, it was covered with newspaper. And there’s only one peephole to see through it.

Basically, he didn’t run out of options entirely since breaking it open was the only thing left but, if it reaches the limit, he knows what to do.

Those happened back in the first three days of isolation.

Still. Basic options like these are more respectable, to say the least. Boruto trusts him that they both know they have personal barriers.

Kawaki cussed quietly.

It’s true. _However_ , going through six days without consuming sunlight and self-needs is too much. That already equates to an extreme self-destructive episode.

This was the only thing that pisses him off. The only thing that _hurts him_ to know.

Prying and pushing the door open wouldn’t work. He tried, the handle creaking roughly was the only reason he stopped, since it will break. And there wouldn’t be a handle to open it anymore.

If there are any more options, he’d pray to have them now. But then again, it’s pointless to mop around for ideas that won’t work.

But …

What if he knocked again? Would that still work?

Even though it sounds stupid to do it again, knowing how much he tried it countless times before, it’s still hopeless. Then again …

He wouldn’t know if he tries. Despite it being a dumb idea.

Kawaki knocked on the door three times, each knock was like four seconds away from each other but still loud and clear. He fidgeted in place, waiting for at least a response from him despite being blocked from the wooden object.

These past few days, Boruto never showed up at all.

Mitsuki and Sarada never bothered to check upon him. There’s a valid reason behind that. He won’t pry in too deep to know why.

But the fact that he knows Sasuke—Boruto’s sensei and teacher, who meant so much to the younger blond, who looked up to and gave him a reason to live for the future— died by Momoshiki’s hands, by using his body.

Not only that, but Sasuke was also Sarada’s father, she hasn’t seen him for a decade and the fact that this incident happens wouldn’t end up being pretty. He didn’t want to think about how the young Uchiha felt, it’s better to leave that alone. Besides, it’s not his business at all.

Kawaki stood. Waited for what felt like forever. When twenty-five minutes passed, he decided that the blond wouldn’t respond at all.

Eleven strikes, he’s not shocked at all. It was obvious that it won’t work. He still wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up twenty-six tried at the end of the month.

He felt like every hope inside his heart was drained. His demeanor dropped, and turn around to leave.

The exact moment he’s about to step foot, he heard— dull rattling noises?

No. There’s like— multiple faint clanking noises of metal and steel.

_What— the hell was that?_ He thought. The noise was brand new, he was used to the silence of this hallway, but the noise was coming from—

It was coming from Boruto’s room.

Kawaki immediately reacted to this, his eyes striking widely and on an instant, his head turned to the door that used to be unopenable.  
  
To think that stupid idea actually worked made him dumbstruck. The door in front of him just now was creaking open in an ajar position.

He must’ve been dreaming right?

His heart was beating fast, this wasn’t supposed to happen at all. But if this is actually true, if this is really happening, then there’s not a chance in hell he’s missing this opportunity.

At least he won’t be breaking his door open anymore.

Kawaki stepped forward, one foot towards the door. Grey eyes squinting if it’s actually real or not.

He saw blond hair. Despite the darkness of the place, he doesn’t know if his eyes are deceiving him. It seemed like it’s darker than this quiet hallway.

The raven stood a foot distance from the entrance.

Boruto’s hair was visible on the gap. It was slightly matted and a little faded.

He wasn’t sure if he hadn’t taken a shower for days, or he just recently finished crying his eyes out.

Still, despite his hair being the only visible thing to see. There was a sting to his chest.

And for some reason, the smell was getting heavier.

His eye twitched a little. The distance between him and the door was enclosed.

To think he can finally see him was enough.

Kawaki— who’s careful and cautious— gently placed his palm on the door, attempting not to open it in respect of his privacy, moved much closer to the gap of the door, and noticed a few things. There was a normal-sized silver chain that seemed to prevent the door from being opened completely.

_A door chain?_

No. There are two doorlock chains. The one he previously mentioned was a normal size. Yet the other one … was large enough to restrict a door from being pried open.

It’s possibly enough to prevent Kawaki, maybe even Naruto to break it open.

He wanted to inspect closer, but he knows Boruto doesn’t want that.

_But why the hell does he have chains in his room?_

Kawaki’s face scrunched up in confusion.

He had been inside the blonde’s room multiple times as if it was his own, had memorized every single detail, the items placed, and weirdly even the scent surrounding it.

But those chains were definitely not there before.

His attention reverted back to Boruto, who’s still standing there with his head down.

He couldn’t distinguish his look, mostly because details of his face were covered due to his hair being in the way. Kawaki wanted to see his face but, he doesn’t know if that’s invading his trust.

All he knows is that, even if the door was hiding his entire figure, he can still see how crooked and timid his body posture was.

Yet what he couldn’t handle, was the smell of his room. Just a single inhale after the door was open, he wanted to cough heave. Good thing it only happened for a single moment or else he’ll actually shamelessly act upon what he felt.

But he knows it was too insensitive of him to do something like that.

It didn’t really matter, he’s just relieved Boruto opened the door for the first time. It felt like decades since he last saw him.

As Kawaki opened his mouth to speak Boruto interrupted him, cutting him off the first sentence.

“What do you want…” The blond spoke. Kawaki noticed, his voice was hoarser and quieter—almost like a murmur— than the other Uzumaki in the house.

It’s like he’s been crying several days.

His brows knitted together while starring down at him. He wanted to speak, to say something to him, yet for the first time it felt like a decade since he was hit with a mental block.

It’s just, been a while since he saw him, especially for six days.

He wasn’t used to change.

He wasn’t used to seeing his—brother, not showing up without a message.

Boruto coughed.

In a flat toned voice, the younger of the two spoke.

“… if there’s nothing you want to say then leave …” His voice alone sounded sad. Honestly, it was quite difficult for Kawaki to admit that it’s definitely—painful? — to see him like this.

He had never seen Boruto in such a horrible state, and this was his first.

He wanted to know why.

Silence was the only response Boruto got. And he decided that this was the last straw.

Kawaki immediately stepped his foot on the gap, preventing the blond from creating that distance again. Followed by his right hand firmly holding the door in place.

“… Let’s talk.” The taller of the two gulped, trying his best to sound soothing. It’s completely in him that he is but he never tried it against the blond, he could do it more if he wants to.

Both stood still. Though, Boruto was slightly fidgeting like he couldn’t stand it. It took them a few moments, almost like a day for something to happen.

The blond answered. “I’ll think about it.”

Kawaki wasn’t sure if he trusts that.

Yet, they have never once broken a promise before. And besides, they both trust each other a lot than what they perceive to be. If this is a way to get the help that Boruto needs, he needs to really trust him for that.

It’s his choice if he wants to trust him or not.

If that trust was broken, then that’s on Boruto.

And that was enough for Kawaki to decide. To trust him.

He slipped his foot and hand back to where it belongs.

Boruto was still there. Then somehow, he let out a sigh. From the way he acts, it’s as if he was shaken to see Kawaki ever since he shut out him and Naruto for six days.

Kawaki pondered at the look.

The blond was struggling, more like sabotaging himself the desire to look up to his older brother.

From the look of it, Kawaki really wanted to hug him after what happened to him.

A few moments later, Boruto gently closed the door. A click of the lock after.

Unbeknownst to Kawaki, the main door’s lock was only used after.

Maybe there’s hope to get him out after all.

A relieved sigh left his lips, triumph is what he felt, but it’s not over yet. That’s one step to finally getting him out of the place. And if he did get him out of there, it’s a win for him and Naruto.

Yet if he didn’t come out, he’ll absolutely break that door open for sure.

Then again, he knows he can’t do it.

He’s not wasting his time and energy again.

But if it’s the only thing to get him out then he will. Whether Boruto likes it or not.

Kawaki checked the clock on his left, and it seems like it’s almost 9:30.

He’d honestly rather wait for Boruto to get out, but he doesn’t know if that possibility was actually going to be true. The raven knows how much time Boruto takes when it comes to grieving, as much as he wants to do all of this right now, the only option is to just wait.

Since it’s almost late, it’s better to do this tomorrow instead, despite not knowing if it will happen today or tomorrow.

Kawaki made his way to the office room Naruto used to sleep in with him. Speaking of Naruto, he was in deep sleep the moment the raven went inside the room.

He made sure, that he’ll deal with this situation in the morning.

Kawaki made his way on the couch, which was covered with the blanket and pillow that he used for the past few months.

Looking at it made him sleepy.

As he was about to lie down, he noticed a few piles of papers on the table. He was sure the last time he came here there wasn’t anything on it. Hinata always cleans this place almost every day.

Curiously, he went over to the office table and took a random piece from the pile, and noticed that it’s all Naruto’s handwriting, not the typical straight-from-the-printer text that was always on the blank pages.

It intrigued him, the more he checked the other piles the more he’s convinced Naruto was writing a letter for someone.

After seeing Boruto’s name on the one he recently picked up cleared his prediction.

It was quite sad to think how surely Naruto was desperate to talk to him, even though breaking the door open was the last option.

Naruto must’ve been so sure that Boruto wasn’t leaving the room anytime soon, so if him leaving a short message to him on a piece of paper would at least help both of them communicate at some point, he wouldn’t slip up the chance to take that opportunity.

Well, it’s Naruto after all. The man never gives up.

Kawaki let out a breath. He read more in the pile. It seems like most of the letters he wrote was about him reassuring his son, telling him that he still loves him even though after what happened. Every drafted and wasted paper he previously checked over was the same thing Naruto keep revising, it’s almost like a broken record.

A lot of erasures are visible, but the clarity and meaning behind them were there.

It was touching, to say the least, that Naruto was still trying to reach out to him, he was his father after all.

Kawaki knows despite how much he meant to Naruto, he knows Boruto meant to him like he was to Naruto. There’s nothing more he could ask for a better father-figure like him.

To Boruto, he’s sure his father meant everything to him. Yet feelings change sometimes, depending on who you’re with.

For a long time now, Kawaki has been an observer. But sometimes, even just that he doesn’t know what other people are thinking. Body language is enough, those are easy to decipher what these people are feeling. Yet thoughts are much harder to distinguish.

Boruto though has long since talked to Kawaki about many things, even with his problems. And like an owl, he just listens, he’ll only speak when he’s done.

Secrets though, he wasn’t told about those—yet at least.

Mostly his insecurities.

Those things are much harder to admit.

The raven was sure that the younger blond was still hiding something within his heart. Every now and then, he never tells it to anyone—of how much Boruto’s façade and demeanor were slowly being broken down.

And those _extremely_ high walls that were thought to be nonexistent in the beginning, were there after all.

Kawaki was impressed with how Boruto can persuade the raven that he’s not hiding anything. Even if he wasn’t trying to.

To think that he’s been friends with so many people for the longest time before Kawaki. Then again, Kawaki was the only one who knows that he was hiding something.

Every person someone makes friends with is different in terms of personality and behavior. Yet these people aren’t enough to distinguish what he mostly felt.

Though he’s not concluding that they’re all dumb as hell to not notice. Engaging and thinking that there’s something wrong with him was the key to knowing him, yet it’s the only thing that wasn’t used upon. It’s the reason why he’s disappointed in them.

He can see why.

Harriers are something to keep up for. It’s a sign of trust. Then again, going far to bottle everything up to yourself and never opening up is a path to self-sabotaging.

Kawaki knows enough things to understand Boruto. Still, those sensitive topics of personal secrets and deep insecurities aren’t his places to ask.

He’ll know that sooner. It’s just he’s not at that stage of his brotherhood with Boruto yet at least.

But what he does know is that most of the time, Boruto is the kind of person to take every blame as if it’s his fault, even if it wasn’t his, to begin with. That’s where Kawaki was mostly worried about ever since this incident.

He knows well how Boruto would feel if it’s actually his own hands— but not his own consciousness— when doing something that he never meant to do.  
  
Even if it’s Momoshiki’s doing, he’ll still take the blame for it. Those six days were already enough evidence of his absence.

And the letters Naruto wrote was what Boruto needed. Some fit of reassurance.

Naruto’s letters will surely help him, maybe knock some sense in his head if he couldn’t do it.

After placing the paper down, his grey eyes searched the area. His peripheral vision told him there was a piece he missed that contained a huge amount of ink that was under the few. Brushing off aside the ones he read, he took the new one carefully.

It looked neatly written, the meaning of his words was much clearer and genuine than the previous ones he read. This was probably the last draft he did, which took a lot of time and effort looking at it.

Even if he doesn’t have permission from Naruto to give this to his son, he’ll give him the letter himself. It’s the right time to give it to him considering his current state.

The paper was folded in four, tucked inside his blue, navy jacket, and made a mental note to give this to the younger blond when he’s out of his room. Right now, it’s somewhat late in the night, but it’s better to sleep soon.

He was sure Boruto wouldn’t get out of his room when it’s this late and looking back at how he looks having that door ajar it’s definitely not a nice image to look at.

The younger blond really needed to take care of himself.

Kawaki placed his jacket on the chair beside the table he went by a while ago. The raven lied down on the couch, grabbing the blanket and tucking himself inside of it.

Only when he lied down is when he finally realized how physically and mentally tired his state was.

The week before this incident, everything was extremely difficult to manage. The majority of the reason behind it was because of the state Boruto was in.

And to think he was going to try and remember this scenario right at this moment before sleeping will be the death of him.

He tried everything in his power to avoid remembering that scenario about Boruto when he was being interrogated with Ino and Shikamaru. Yeah, Kawaki was nervous and was admittingly worried about how the younger blond felt about hearing the news.

However, the fact that he, himself, had to witness Boruto's traumatic episode of wording out and reminiscing what he remembered while astral-projecting from his body was downright a nightmare fuel to see.

Boruto's clothes were damped with blood, his jacket was ripped to shreds. His face was covered with dirt and slight bruise marks on his arms being beaten by Sasuke, who was trying to kill him off after being possessed by Momoshiki.

And who was, right now dead.

It was a horrible sight to see. From such a bright person who's always so happy and determined to save everyone, to see him break down to something he didn't do from his own free will. From being possessed by a parasitic, other-worldly alien creature who'll take over his existence, it sure was reasonable to see how much he couldn't really take it anymore.

He must've been holding himself back.

Boruto must've been finding the right time to break down into tears knowing his existence will be erased, and his body used to create destruction.

That thought alone was enough to make a normal living person decide to end their lives for the greater good.

Even before. Boruto, who was trying to open the portal to go back to Konoha was struggling so much. He was so emotionally driven and traumatized that his karma mark was activated on purpose because of the emotions he felt, not with his own will.

Kawaki still remembers. How those soft blue, lit up, ocean eyes—from the time he had woken up to the news of killing Sasuke Uchiha, his sensei, was dead because of him— were faded into bloodshot, terrified, astounded oracles were enough to shaken someone.

It was absolutely unimaginable.

He couldn’t get the image of him off of his head. The sight of Boruto’s traumatic state was still fresh on his mind, it’s like he was fated to witness it.

The pain Kawaki felt seeing all of it, was indescribable.

He can still recall his drenched face. How his face was pale from tiredness and drained of chakra, every ounce of said chakra was used by Momoshiki like almost every drop of his life force was used. Not only that, looking at him was like looking at a corpse, like most of his blood was drained from his pale face.

His hands—even arms, from the time Kawaki attempted to comfort Boruto after his interrogation, was so cold it's like there's a winter season going on in his body. His breathing was ragged, unstable. And finally, those eyes, that were so rare to find on this earth, looked dead.

Those blue eyes, who were the same as the Hokage’s—but much brighter— looked so dull, their color was close to his jacket's color. Navy. It wasn't supposed to look like that. It should always be saturated than that. Brighter than that. Lighter than the sky. The sun reflecting his and everyone's hopes and dreams. Reflecting the nucleus in everyone's hearts.

It horrified him in the utmost core of his being—how someone who looked so bright, energetic, and happy, who always smelled like cinnamon powder who makes breakfast every morning for his family, who's always curious of what everyone does, who always lights everyone's world— could end up smelling like he recently killed someone and someone who doesn't know what their purpose in life anymore.

And most importantly, looking like a lifeless, disintegrating corpse being forced to live upon the moment it's supposed to be dead.

Remembering all of it drained all his energy.

It was enough to make him realized, only at the moment, how much he cared so much about Boruto.

Not because he was his rival. Not because he was the Hokage’s son. Not because they’re both legally step-brothers.

But just because of who he is as a whole.

And for that, Kawaki closed his eyes.

He’ll take care of this the next day.

For now, his consciousness fades a little.

The ticking of the clock in his ears dies every second, and the cold breeze of the room comforts his body.

Just then he unconsciously realizes, he’s finally sleeping properly in peace.

**Author's Note:**

> A beta reader would be nice though.
> 
> The next chapter will explore Kawaki's disturbance in the night. Stay tuned!
> 
> Follow me on:  
> Twitter: _jxdith  
> Tumblr: j-dith  
> Instagram: jxd.ith


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